Who’s the Boss?

It’s not unusual to hear a child say, “You’re not the boss of me!” or dream up a world where they make the rules, eat dessert first, and skip bedtime. It can even sound like they want to be in charge. But the truth is, children don’t actually want — or need — that kind of power.

While kids may push back against limits and structure, what they truly crave is the safety that comes from knowing the adults are in charge. Clear rules, predictable routines, and calm, confident leadership help kids feel secure. When grown-ups are steady and consistent, children can relax — even if they protest along the way.

Being “the boss” doesn’t mean being harsh or controlling. It means being the steady captain of the ship. Children need adults who lead with love, hold boundaries, and provide guidance they can count on.

So the next time your child argues about the rules or insists they know better, remember: behind that push for power is a deep need to know that someone capable is steering the ship. And that someone is you.